Is It Possible....

.............Is it possible to lose something you never had in the first place? I am having a very bad week. I heard some very bad things about the school I am going and that totally shattered me cause I was looking soooooooooo forward to it. I finally thought I was one step closer to my dreams after all these years. I been down because of that. With help of some friends, I am looking at other schools but I am not getting as exicted as I should be.





Also, anyone who knows me knows how much I always wanted a sister in my life. I yearned for one all my life. You know to have someone to tell your secrets to, share your problems with, share clothes, wake up 4 am to talk about the most stupidest thing, fight over the smallest thing and then make up the next minute, someone who is always there for you at all times. A cousin of mine, who is 4 years older, has always been that person for me. We grew up together and we shared our secrets and fought with eachother like nobody's business. After saying goodbye to her in 2001 after my trip back home, I missed her so much. For 4 years, I wish I can go back home and see her. When we finally did meet, she was another person. She would scream at me for no reason, embarrass me in front of her friends and family and it hurt so bad. But I guess people change and so did she. Ofcousre I tried to forget about it and act like nothing have changed. I was talking to her online yesterday and for a moment it felt like nothing have changed and I told her about my school thing and for no reason at all, she started to be bitchy again. Like wtf? Maybe it's a good thing I dont have a sister.

So Frustrating!

This Tampa trip is frustrating the crap out of me! The loans thing esp. is annoying and confusing me. I never had to worry about interest rates and other shit before. But aaaaahhh!! I have on idea what I am doing or what loans I am accepting. SOMEBODY HELP! Maybe I should just give up and stay in Raleigh for the rest of my life :'(

Arrggg!

Dont anyone else ever feel like if only they can get away from everything and move a different planet and be by themselves for a day or a week or so? Arrgggg!! People make me angry and for like fuck's sake.....aaaaaaaaaaahhhh! You know some people should just be locked up cause I dont even know why they are roaming around free annoying the crap out of me and I'm sure many other people. I know, I know I am one of those people that should be locked up as well and you know what? I wont mind as long as I am alone with a good book (maybe the new Harry Potter?).........Aaaah! So not happy! Fuck everyone!

I can honestly understand at times like this, why Britney Spears would shave her head and attack people with an umbrella. Maybe I should do that to get rid of my anger. AAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!

P.S: Rant Over but that dude still havent called me regarding my financial thing. Blahhhh!

The Little Go-Kart Incident

Few weeks ago, when we took Aryan to Adventure Landing for the first time, he loved it. He esp. loved the go-karts and the golf thing. He been asking to go back so today I decided to nice and take him since I havent had any 40 pounds tonka trucks thrown at me. So we get our ticket for the Go-Kart Double Seat thing. The rules are that the passenger seat person has to be atleast 3 years old and Aryan is nearly four so we were fine. We go on the Go-Kart and I make sure Aryan's seat belt is in place. So we start and we go around the tracks for a few minutes with 10 or so other go karts and I decide to look at Aryan and realize his seat belt is quite loose and he's slipping. So I go on the side where one of the workers is and the worker dude (the namgetag said "Scott") put a "Slow Down" behind our car so other cars wont hit us and helped me fix Aryan's seatbelt. Then he tried to make sure no cars are coming before letting us go back on the track. But right when I went on the track, some fucking idiot comes in high speed and fucking bumps us and my head jerks and hits the steel on the side. For a few second, I really cant see anything and when I do, my first thoughts are on Aryan. He's fine but I got a huge bump on my head. So we are on the side way again with Scott making the dude who stop and yell at him and with me screaming "GO SHAG A BOAR YOU TWAT." Even though it was the guy's fault since we were still on the sideway when the dude hit us and Scott has a put a red light so people can slow down and yet the dude didnt, Scott got scared cause I had a huge bump on my head. Called his manager and I got unlimited Go-Kart, Golf, Laser Tag and a gazillion tokens for a day which I can use another day!

When I got home, my head was killing me so I went to bed. It's alright now but I still got a huge bump on my head.

What Do You Do At 4 A.M?

Dance like a maniac! No I am not on drugs like Jess like to believe.........I just get super hyper after drinking coke which is umm all day long. So anyways, went to watch Harry Potter & OotP. We were planning to go watch it at Imax 3d but my stupid brother didnt come on time so we missed the timing and had to go watch it at a regular theatre cause I couldnt possibly wait for another day. I looooved it! Though I do feel like they missed quite a bit of stuff like not showing the locket at Sirius' place (when they are cleaning the house), or showing Neville's parents at the hospital. I also dont think they focused much on Umbridges little army or explain her character more or that of Hagrid's brother. If people only watch the movies and not read the books, I think they might be a bit confused? Oh well. I should have expected that by now. The movies as good as they are, never match the books. I am so dying for next Saturday to come fast so I can get my book and finally kill the suspance! Did I ever say I have no patience at all?

Oh what else? Seeing that I am such a huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuge Beckhams fan (ya ya shut up!), I got super excited about the W photoshoot! Gonna try to get it tomorrow. Tomorrow's quite a big day.....(is it really tomorrow or today...lets just say friday). David's official presentation, Victoria's Jay Leno, other gazillion interviews and pictures. Fun. I would go buy David's jersey I would but its way too much and I had to beg my mom for $20 to go see Harry Potter so I dont think I can afford it now.

Talking about money, Ryan finally called me as he got my financial aid packet I sent. He said in case I didnt get approve for that, I should apply for a loan beforehand so I did that but I need a cosigner and my dad agreed to it (sorta). So if everything is sorted, I am going to Tampa in October and LONDON next July. (Please God please, let that happen!). I am getting more excited now. That's about it in my life now. So boring.



P.S: Satan Jr. a.k.a Aryan is my brother :-p

Me...

The only pictures I'll ever post of myself cause I know you been dying to see if I am a 60 year old fat man or not......I am:

Cause I Am A Stupid Idiot.....

Ok so I lost the login to my old Flickr account. Laugh as much as you want. So I had to create a new one, and re add all my pictures and what not. So new link to Flickr.....add me if you want:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/9811084@N08/

Edit: That account is now deleted cause I automatically got logged back in my old one.

The old one is : www.flickr.com/photos/farihab

Ready For School

The other day, I bought Aryan some red crocs. I know they are ugly and all but I think they look super cute on little kids and I am a huge Mickey Mouse fan so anything with Mickey, I get it. Oh and theres just no way I can rest if there is any money in my pocket until I spend it. So anyways I go and buy him the crocs and when I get home, he is fast asleep and my mom hates them. She said she willl not let him wear them. The next morning he wakes up and he sees them and he is in love with them. He havent taken them off since. Though my mom still refuses to let him wear them when he goes out....shes wacko.

Here are some pictures I took of the morning after I bought the crocs. He is wearing his all time favorite "engwind" shirt that Sarah got for him, with his backpack and new crocs, all ready for "school"......

Aryan and His New Ride

Havent played around with the camera for a few days now since I been sooooo busy trying to sort everything out for Tampa. Phone calls to make, emails to write, packages to send, and what not. Sooooo stressed!! My head hurts! Anyways to get a little break, I took Aryan for a walk outside and he got super exicted when I told him he can take out his Orange Power Ride thing. We got it for him last year for his birthday but it been tucked away for the winter and he was a bit too small for it so when he saw it few days ago, he thoughts we got him a brand new car! Took some pictures of him. For some of them, I forgot to set the speedlite in the right angle or something. They turned out alright I think.

Some other random pictures: