Saturday, May 5, 2007

Movies & Samia and Aisha's Zits.......

Last saturday, I went to the movies with Aisha, Mariam, Mahdeem, Aisha's mom and baby sister to see Tara Rum Pum. Overall I was quite disapointed cause I loved Salaam Namaste (and no Samia not for the cheesy sex scenes).......this one was ok but not something I'll watch again and again. But you know, I'll even watch Faizan's gay porn if it means I get to hang out with the Queen herself, Missy Aisha! I am only joking about the porn Faizi, you know I wub ya.....

So my super smart mother who I love so very much (at times) came up with another one of her brilliant plans that make me scream "why oh why me?" This time she wants to take Satan Jr.....umm I mean Aryan, to go watch Spiderman 3 and she wants me to tag along....how about no? 1. I had enough of watching Spiderman 1 & 2 sixty three times a day and then having a 3 year old hit me, throw super heavy toys at me (what fucking genius thought 40 pounds toys are cute for little devils) , bite me, and jump on me because I am "green goblin" and 2. Wasnt it enough that she dragged me to see that annoying loser Elmo LIVE and made me try to track him down afterwards for a pic and having me getting yelled at by an unfriendly security guard who by the looks of it hated 2 year old Elmo fans as much as I do (that includes you too Samia and Marvi when you start singing Row Row Your Boat like him)? I dont really fancy getting beaten up by a three year old in a public place just because I dared to do the unthinkable when the ruler of the world is watching a movie and breath. Did I mention how I turned my back for one minute yesterday and he put a screen lock on my iPod and changed the language to Japanese? When I sweetly asked him (I really did) what the code was, he simply said "I dont like 3".....no kidding? I dont either!!! Afterwards a lot of chasing was involved with me getting hit by a hardcover book (thrown by Satan Jr.) which made my arm numb for 3 minutes and some blocks (throw by his mom) after I tried to kick him.....

OK back to my weekend. After the movie, poor sweet Aisha telling me how she feels bad that she has to go to work the next day cause my parents dont love me enough to come pick me up at 1 am so I am sleeping over and being a victim of Aisha's radioactive exposure, and all I can focus on is the big red zit on her forehead.....

"Why dont you tell Shamim you cant make it to work cause your zit exploded?" It takes Aisha like 7 minutes to figure out what I am saying while Mariam is laughing.....

"No man, I cant. She wont believe me...." You must be kidding!!! So we spend the night straightening my hair, me putting "very sexy" makeup on Aisha, watching Aisha's engagement video, talking and finally going to sleep..........the next day I wake up and Aisha is at work......poor thing. Shamim probably didnt think an exploded forehead is big enough of an excuse for Aisha to miss work while she worked on her botox again!

So later on, my mom finally decides that she doesnt like getting beaten up by Satan Jr. and I deserve it more and comes to pick me up............where do we go? To Samia's. NO seriously what is it that I cant just meet one of them per week or do anything that doesnt involve both of them....I mean Aisha and Samia. I have to meet them the same time, mention them the same time, go to their weddings at the same time, and I bet go to their death party (thrown by me) at the same time making my brain confused about whether to laugh or cry while remembering all the memories of us doing stupid things or saying stupid things cause we are so desperate.....well they both are, I am fine.

Anyways so I go to Samia's house and meet her mom in the kitchen who says "Your soulmate is upstairs" and for a minute I get super exicted thinking its Rahul but then I remember Samia bitch lives upstairs as well and Rahul is smart enough to know to not go near her.......So I go upstairs and shes on the computer ummmm "studying" and she turns around and what does she have? A huge black zit right on her forehead......the same place Missy Aisha has hers.....see what I said about them being sesame twins or whatever they are called? Ofcourse I cant stop staring at it and keep mentioning it in every sentence I speak and I can see that Samia is really getting annoyed and might throw the remote or Sanji on me.....but hey since when did I start caring that I am annoying or offending her? But thats why she cant get enough of me.....Back to the zits.....while Aisha's was bright red like she was ummm *tries to keep it non ks* eating strawberries and stained her head, Samia's looked like an over grown blackhead gone way too wrong......

Ok I should stop. Its not like I am zit free.......we all know about my Guribabe one!!!! *watches Faizan dig out a picture* Dont even think about it mate! I had a huge ass blackhead (smaller then Sami's zit) on in the middle of my shouder blades for like two years which Marvi always managed to laugh at and I had no idea what it was. One sunny day, the blackhead doctor, Missy Aisha comes over and is like "OMG you have a black head" while pointing to the back of my head..."Yaaay Aisha you finally figured out that my hair color is black!!".....ofcourse not getting me shes like LET ME PULL IT OUT! Umm.....no! "It wont hurt....a lot".......ok yes I hate my hair but I dont want someone pulling it out...........but at the end she defeated me which is not that hard.....size wize dekha hai? Not only hers, mine too........and pulls it out and I realized this time I was the stupid one......

I am joking.....Aisha is more smart then Samia will ever wish to be....I mean I'll ever wish to be.

1 comment:

Lah said...

LMAo love reading your blog Fari.
I am pissing myself laughing at you calling Aryan Satan Jr. lol lol

love you bitch.