Unconditional Love

Does it exist? Ofcourse one can love their parents, their siblings, their child unconditionally but can can you love someone you never met so much? How about after one meeting? Being a HUGE bollywood fan, I've seen a billion and one movies where the two lovers in the movie are deeply and madly in love just after looking at eachother. Enough in love to sing and dance and run around trees or dance in a towel *cough*PRETTYBUMBOY*cough*........but is it possible in real life?

How about loving someone so much without actually being in love with that person? Can you love someone you never met so much that you pray for their happiness, their success, their smile? Can you love someone in an totally uncondition way that isn't the love of your life or your child or your family? Why do we love someone so much? I mean what makes us fall so in love with someone that we are ready to give up everything in life for their happiness? What is love? How do you define love? To me, its the most innocent, the most pure feeling in the world. To me, you love someone when all you want in life is for them to be happy, when you put your happiness on the sideline for theirs, when you can do anything in the world for their one smile, when you feel like destroying anything that might make them even a teeny bit upset, when you are ready to give up everything but don't want anything in return, when being around them makes you feel like the luckiest most happiest person in the world, when you are on a constant high when your around them, even when things go wrong, their one smile makes everything better even for a second, when you......aye.

I've never been IN love with anyone but there are a lot of people that I love without any conditions. People that I think rule this world.....that makes me wonder, why do we give someone so much importance? I mean they are human too, why do we nearly worship some people? What is it about them that makes us do that?

Idiotic critics

I saw Saawariya and I loved it. I dn't care what anyone else says. Both Ranbir and Sonam are superstars. Sonam took my breath away, she was that good. Her character was a bit weak but she made the biggest impact. She rocked!!

OSO Vs. Saawariya

Ok can I just say, I don't care of SRK's fake abs and Deepika's waxy looks "win"....I don't care if OSO is the biggest hit of the century. I really don't. I just want Saawariya to do well. Sona and Bir worked so hard on it so for their sake, I want the movie to do well. And both OSO and Saawariya can come out winners, really. There is no competition. You are comparing Ranbir with someone who been in the industry for more then 10 years, who is known to be "KING Khan", who happens to be one of the biggest stars at the moment. This is Ranbir's first movie. How is that fair? You are comparing Sonam with someone who already have a previous movie experience, who been in the industry as a model for years, who is more well-known, again how is that fair? It's not! Yes we Saawariya Manics are going crazy about our sweetus but we don't go into every OSO topic bashing OSO. We know OSO has more chances of winning and frankly we don't care. We just want Saawariya to do well.

2 MORE DAYS TO GO!! I am so freakin nervous! Aaah tomorrow is the premiere in Bombay with all the big industry people coming to support and JUDGE our babies! I am so not ready for this....aahhhh! I will sleep tonight, yes I will.

11 books to read....

So I just ordered 11 books and most of them are because they are on Sona's favorite list haha! Can't wait to get them!

I saw the dialogue promo of Saawariya today and ofcourse my excitement level doubled and arrrgg I don't know how I'll wait for three more days! Sonam as usual was just AMAZING! I am getting tired of using the word amazing but thats the only way I can describe her. She just is. Her dialogue delievery was so perfect and her expressions were flawless. She's going to be so huge, I just know it. Haha I hope when she's a huge superstar, she doesn't forget about us little people on facebook :p

Honestly though, I know that Saawariya would do well and Sona will be huge but at the same time, I am nervous too. Though, I don't care how Saawariya does, Sona will always be a huge star to me. I love her more then words can describe haha. She's so much like me, its scares me in a way haha. She's def. my hero. I can relate to her in so many levels so its all cool.

Sona darling, no matter what happens on friday, I'll still support you and love you no matter what. To me, you already are a superstar!

She Knows Who I Am!!!!!

Well ok fine she have known who I am for a month now cause I am such a annoying little git but I was still in denial but OMMMMMMGGGGGGG she knows who I am now for real. [i]Oh Mere Sona Re, Sona Re, Sona Re, Kabhi Na Change Hona Re[/i]

Get Well Soon, Sona!

Our poor darling has a sty in her eye. Poor precious princess! Kisi ki nazar lag gaye......my mom says only those who love you give you nazar so I hope it was not from me. I am going to say "Mashallah" from now on just so she won't get more nazars. Even if I thought it was a joke when people would say saying "Mashallah" will prevent you from getting nazar! Anything for our Sona Bacha though! And Bir looked so cute saying it, so its a IN thing now. Yes I confirmed my sad status even more.

Get Well Soon, Darling Sona!

Is it possible....

..............to miss someone you never met or knew? I miss Ava. I really do. I think about how big she would have been now and maybe the stories her mom would have shared and I go into such deep pain that I never knew before. Her mummy posted a picture of her and I just. I just miss her. I can't begin to understand the pain her family must be going through. Why does such things happen? I am not into God at all and it makes me question why did he take her away? Why?

What A Sweetheart!!!!

Is all I can say about my precious Sona! God she's sooooooooooooo sweet! She's such a darling darling DARLING! Just so sweet. I can't say that enough time! She's just precious, AN ANGEL! I can't get over what a sweetheart she is! She's stunningly (is that a word?) gorgeous, the sweetheart, she got a personality to die for, and she's just too sweet! AAAAHHHH I adoooorreeeee her! I can't adore her more.


It sounds like I am talking about a little baby but umm she's actually 22 LMAOOOO!!!

9 more days till I see Saawariya!!

I'm Still Alive!

Just been too busy with school and DC move and everything else. Will try to post more once we move to the new place.

Team Sonam

How freakin' adorable is she?!? Just how adorable is she? I am so in awe of her, it's not even funny. The last time I was in awe of someone so much was Aishwarya.

Sonam is too adorable for words. She got the cutest personality. She seems so down to earth and so content with herself. She got the sweetest personality and is so bubbly and funny. And her smile....it like takes over her face and makes you smile with her and she got the cutest laugh! She's "amazingly beautiful" like Ranbir says.

Being Anil's daughter, I would have supported her no matter what but now I think I would have been a fan of her even if she was not Anl's daughter. I really hope Saawariya does well and she gets appreciated.

Oh on another side, I am becoming a Ranbir fan too. Well more like a fan of Ranbir and Sonam as a couple. They compliment eachother so well! Totally adorable!

Saawariya...aaaaa....Saawariya..aaa...!

I have always been a big fan of Rishi Kapoor and Anil Kapoor. I remember watching their movies when I was little. My mom, esp. is the biggest Anil Kapoor fan ever! So when I heard Anil's daughter and Rishi's son are coming in a movie directed by non other then my all time favorite director, Sanjay Leela Bansali, I was excited. I couldn't wait to see what Sonam and Ranbir looked like and I finally saw the promo. Like usual SLB is a GENIUS. By the looks of it, he hasn't let me down. Just like all his other movies, this one looks like a work of art. Ranbir, people were talking about just how good looking he is, is OK.....his dad was more handsome. He still looks quite promising. Sonam on the hand seem to have her father's charm and is just ADORABLE! I can't can't can't wait for this movie!!

It's def. in my top list along with Jodha Akbar starring no other then my favorite, Aishwarya Rai Bachchan and Hritik Roshan and Laaga Chunari Mai Daag starring Rani Mukherjee, Abhishek Bachchan and Konkona Sen.

Postsecret.com

To whoever that mailed this in, THANK YOU. I can't agree more.

I Got In!

Moving to D.C On Saturday! I got in whoo hooo!! Classes start on the first!

Whoohooo?!?

The Washington/Arlington school finally got my transcript. Took forever! Knowing very well how bad my grades were at High School, I been scared to death and been so stressed lately. But but but, oh ya, but the lady said she "thinks" I have nothing to worry about. Yaaay? She still doesn't know the final answer but she said she "thinks" I am fine. The keyword is think. I guess that means everything is good or am I focusing on the word "think" too much?

If everything works out, I be moving in with my cousin around the 23rd. Orientation starts on the 27th - pick up books, get school id, etc. I am excited but still nervous. Won't rest until I get the final answer.

Please Pray For My Friend

I just talked to Shamzy's sister and she tells me that her condition is very very critical. Her doctors told the family to inform all her loved ones about her condition cause they don't know what will happen next. She's very unresponsive, her body is very cold, she's unconcious and is on drips. She sometimes mutters his name and cries but that's it. Her family just flew all the way from Sri Lanka to Malaysia to see her.

Please please please include her in your prayers and wish her to get better. She has to get out of this, she just has to.

Update on Shamzy

Her sister tells us that she was in such great shock, that they had to admit her to the hospital. She's non responsive and at times, her pulse will go very weak. She only murmurs his name and cries all day. This is a person who always always always saw the bright side of things and always make you feel better no matter what. Please pray for her to come out of this great shock.

R.I.P Rauel

An online friend of mine, Shamz, who always managed to make me laugh no matter what, lost her boyfriend yesterday. A stupid arsehole hit Rauel with his car when Rauel just got off work and was walking on the sidewalk. Rauel was in the ICU for a couple of days but due to the extensive damage to his head and back, he couldn't make it. Shamzy is in great shock not crying or talking.


R.I.P Rauel. I am so sorry for your loss, Shamzy and I really have no words. Just that I pray that you come out of this as a stronger person. Love you!

For Ava

We just let Ava's balloons let go since it's still the 22nd here. I know it's not enough. Nothing is enough. But I do hope it brings a tiny bit comfort to her family to know people around the world are thinking about her.

Happy Birthday Darling Girl:

Happy Birthday To A Super Princess

Once upon a time, there was a beautiful little girl named Ava. She loved all things pink and sparkly. Everyone who ever met her, fell in love with her. She was confident, sweet, loving, and all things nice. But one day, the angels living in pink clouds missed her too much and they called her back to join them. She left this world on Feb. 5th, 2007. People say she was too beautiful for this world anyways!

Today, on August 22nd, if she was still here, she would have been celebrating her fourth birthday. She would have had a princess and ballet birthday party with everything pink. She would have been spoiled rotten by her mummy, daddy, grandad, , her brothers Luca and Mason, and her little sister Ivy and everyone whose lives she changed forever. But instead all her family can do is try not to cry today.

Remember Ava. Say a prayer for her family to find some peace today. Hug everyone you love and tell them how much they mean to you because you have no clue how lucky you realy are to have your loved ones around you. Dance a little and forget about your worries for a day. Wear something pink. If you can, release a pink balloon or lit a candle at her site at http://avarosemeyer.memory-of.com


Happy Birthday Gorgeous Girl!

There's a party in heaven,
the Super Princess is four,
there are ponies and carousels,
no little girl could want more.

Close your eyes and you'll see her,
rosy cheeks on her precious face,
twirling and laughing,
filled with love, peace and grace.

She's dancing with angels,
squealing with glee,
through the carpet of balloons,
with fairy lights in the trees.

Her cake is a castle,
there could be nothing less,
it has pink icing and lollies,
perfect for a Super Princess.

She is surrounded by new friends
and there are presents galore
they sing Happy Birthday
for the Super Princess who turns four.

For a moment she turns her head,
a sound from the distance breaks through.
A huge smile lights her face
and she answers i loveyousomuchtoo!!

*poem copied from her mum's blog @ http://sheyerosemeyer.blogspot.com*

I would be posting my balloon pictures in the morning.

The Drama That Comes With Being Ignorant...

I always consider myself to be open-minded. I try to respect everyones opinions even if I don't agree with them. I've noticed many times people try to take advantage of it and go too far. I go to this Victoria Beckham forum which I love because it has people of so many different nationality with different views and they are such fun people (most of them at least). So when I posted about my trip to D.C, I never expected it to turn into a war against Islam and India/Pakistan/Middle East. I was born and raised in Pakistan as a muslim and I am half Irani and half Pakistani. I moved to the United States when I was 11 year olds and I go to Pakistan often. I always consider myself lucky because I get to experience both of the worlds and sometimes I get frustrated at both of the sides cause I feel like I am stuck in the middle. But it gets on my last nerve when some spoiled American or European goes about how my country sucks and my religion is full of terrorists based on news they hear in their country.

Judge for yourself and tell me if I am wrong.......if I am, do let me know so I can try to understand why I am and maybe try to educate myself better for next time.

http://forums.denden.co.uk/viewtopic.php?f=1&t=132324

The drama begins on page 4.

So I have joined the club....

Well I have a lot to talk about my D.C trip but for now I wrote this for a forum so I am gonna copy and paste:

Well I always been a goody two-shoes and never went partying or anything. Even when the people at my DMV messed up my ID and put my birth year to 1986 instead of 1987, I never took advantage of it. But when I went to D.C to visit my favorite cousin, Mariam, I decided to sod it and when she said she was planning to go clubbing with her friends, and asked me if I would like to go along, I said yes. So we went right after having a HUGE HUGE HUGE dinner. I had my first Mojito and it was a bit bitter at first but I found myself asking for another glass. Then we went downstairs and I wanted to try something new so my cousin ordered me a rasberry vodka with coke. After that, because of the huge dinner, I was pretty full. Anyways everyone started to dance and I was starting to feel my drinks and was getting a bit light headed but I didnt think I was drunk cause well I still knew what I was doing or saying and I suppose when your drunk, you do crazy things or I am just too stupid.

If you must know, I never ever ever NEVEEER dance. NEVER EVER. That's like so Anti-Fari, its not even funny. But one of my cousin's friend/co-worker, a middle aged spanish woman named Blanca pulled me to the dance floor and like OMG I started to dance. Like who fucking cares if people would look at me, I was dancing away. Then a guy asked me to dance and I danced. AGAIN who fucking cares if I promised myself I'll never dance in public. I was not drunk though, maybe a bit too confident? After a while, I got tired, so I went and sat down and had half of my cousin's mojito and then this geeky guy asks me to dance and I am like "Sorry I'm too tired" (pretty normal) and the next second Blanca pulls me on the dance floor again and I start going wild. Still not drunk. And then this freaky old man comes and starts to dance with me and I am like DUDE GO AWAY and my cousin's boyfriend hears that and he's pretty drunk and he's like "Don't even look at her or you'll be sorry" and usually by this point, I should have been very scared but I started to laugh like a maniac. No I am not drunk.....I am only light headed! After our little dance, me and my cousin decide to take a walk at Dupont Circle the trendy area of D.C which is a favorite hangout for gays. Knowing that pretty well, we started to flirt with all these gay men. For fuck's sake I never ever ever ever ever flirt with anyone! Again its just too much confidence, I am not drunk. Then we go to the fountain and dip our fucking feet in there. Nobody minds since everyone around us is drunk except me ofcourse. Then we just started to walk around IN the fucking fountain laughing our heads off and still claiming we are not drunk at all. So we walk to the metro and Mariam realizes her heels are killing her so we switch shoes. Her shoe size is like two sizes smaller but I still force myself to wear her heels. Fari NEVER wears heels let alone 2 sizes too small but hey who fucking cares if I fall flat on my face? Now seriously! We see this drunk girl walking barefoot holding her shoes and we laugh at her saying how stupid she is. When our metro ride is over and we are going to her boyfriend's car, I realize my feets are killing me so I am walking around barefoot carrying Mariam's heels. No I was not drunk! So we go home and Mariam asks me if I am drunk...."Me, no!!! You?" and she's like "Nah!"...........the next day we dont wake up till 2 pm and complain of headaces.....drunk? Us? No way!

Right after we had dinner:


At the fountain:

In D.C....

So I am in D.C. I been really stressed out back home so decided to come visit my cousin, Mariam. I arrived here on Wednesday and leaving on Monday. Will post details when I get home. Am having a great time waiting for our pizza to arrive at midnight :p Loads of pictures to post too :p

Is It Possible....

.............Is it possible to lose something you never had in the first place? I am having a very bad week. I heard some very bad things about the school I am going and that totally shattered me cause I was looking soooooooooo forward to it. I finally thought I was one step closer to my dreams after all these years. I been down because of that. With help of some friends, I am looking at other schools but I am not getting as exicted as I should be.





Also, anyone who knows me knows how much I always wanted a sister in my life. I yearned for one all my life. You know to have someone to tell your secrets to, share your problems with, share clothes, wake up 4 am to talk about the most stupidest thing, fight over the smallest thing and then make up the next minute, someone who is always there for you at all times. A cousin of mine, who is 4 years older, has always been that person for me. We grew up together and we shared our secrets and fought with eachother like nobody's business. After saying goodbye to her in 2001 after my trip back home, I missed her so much. For 4 years, I wish I can go back home and see her. When we finally did meet, she was another person. She would scream at me for no reason, embarrass me in front of her friends and family and it hurt so bad. But I guess people change and so did she. Ofcousre I tried to forget about it and act like nothing have changed. I was talking to her online yesterday and for a moment it felt like nothing have changed and I told her about my school thing and for no reason at all, she started to be bitchy again. Like wtf? Maybe it's a good thing I dont have a sister.

So Frustrating!

This Tampa trip is frustrating the crap out of me! The loans thing esp. is annoying and confusing me. I never had to worry about interest rates and other shit before. But aaaaahhh!! I have on idea what I am doing or what loans I am accepting. SOMEBODY HELP! Maybe I should just give up and stay in Raleigh for the rest of my life :'(

Arrggg!

Dont anyone else ever feel like if only they can get away from everything and move a different planet and be by themselves for a day or a week or so? Arrgggg!! People make me angry and for like fuck's sake.....aaaaaaaaaaahhhh! You know some people should just be locked up cause I dont even know why they are roaming around free annoying the crap out of me and I'm sure many other people. I know, I know I am one of those people that should be locked up as well and you know what? I wont mind as long as I am alone with a good book (maybe the new Harry Potter?).........Aaaah! So not happy! Fuck everyone!

I can honestly understand at times like this, why Britney Spears would shave her head and attack people with an umbrella. Maybe I should do that to get rid of my anger. AAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!

P.S: Rant Over but that dude still havent called me regarding my financial thing. Blahhhh!

The Little Go-Kart Incident

Few weeks ago, when we took Aryan to Adventure Landing for the first time, he loved it. He esp. loved the go-karts and the golf thing. He been asking to go back so today I decided to nice and take him since I havent had any 40 pounds tonka trucks thrown at me. So we get our ticket for the Go-Kart Double Seat thing. The rules are that the passenger seat person has to be atleast 3 years old and Aryan is nearly four so we were fine. We go on the Go-Kart and I make sure Aryan's seat belt is in place. So we start and we go around the tracks for a few minutes with 10 or so other go karts and I decide to look at Aryan and realize his seat belt is quite loose and he's slipping. So I go on the side where one of the workers is and the worker dude (the namgetag said "Scott") put a "Slow Down" behind our car so other cars wont hit us and helped me fix Aryan's seatbelt. Then he tried to make sure no cars are coming before letting us go back on the track. But right when I went on the track, some fucking idiot comes in high speed and fucking bumps us and my head jerks and hits the steel on the side. For a few second, I really cant see anything and when I do, my first thoughts are on Aryan. He's fine but I got a huge bump on my head. So we are on the side way again with Scott making the dude who stop and yell at him and with me screaming "GO SHAG A BOAR YOU TWAT." Even though it was the guy's fault since we were still on the sideway when the dude hit us and Scott has a put a red light so people can slow down and yet the dude didnt, Scott got scared cause I had a huge bump on my head. Called his manager and I got unlimited Go-Kart, Golf, Laser Tag and a gazillion tokens for a day which I can use another day!

When I got home, my head was killing me so I went to bed. It's alright now but I still got a huge bump on my head.

What Do You Do At 4 A.M?

Dance like a maniac! No I am not on drugs like Jess like to believe.........I just get super hyper after drinking coke which is umm all day long. So anyways, went to watch Harry Potter & OotP. We were planning to go watch it at Imax 3d but my stupid brother didnt come on time so we missed the timing and had to go watch it at a regular theatre cause I couldnt possibly wait for another day. I looooved it! Though I do feel like they missed quite a bit of stuff like not showing the locket at Sirius' place (when they are cleaning the house), or showing Neville's parents at the hospital. I also dont think they focused much on Umbridges little army or explain her character more or that of Hagrid's brother. If people only watch the movies and not read the books, I think they might be a bit confused? Oh well. I should have expected that by now. The movies as good as they are, never match the books. I am so dying for next Saturday to come fast so I can get my book and finally kill the suspance! Did I ever say I have no patience at all?

Oh what else? Seeing that I am such a huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuge Beckhams fan (ya ya shut up!), I got super excited about the W photoshoot! Gonna try to get it tomorrow. Tomorrow's quite a big day.....(is it really tomorrow or today...lets just say friday). David's official presentation, Victoria's Jay Leno, other gazillion interviews and pictures. Fun. I would go buy David's jersey I would but its way too much and I had to beg my mom for $20 to go see Harry Potter so I dont think I can afford it now.

Talking about money, Ryan finally called me as he got my financial aid packet I sent. He said in case I didnt get approve for that, I should apply for a loan beforehand so I did that but I need a cosigner and my dad agreed to it (sorta). So if everything is sorted, I am going to Tampa in October and LONDON next July. (Please God please, let that happen!). I am getting more excited now. That's about it in my life now. So boring.



P.S: Satan Jr. a.k.a Aryan is my brother :-p

Me...

The only pictures I'll ever post of myself cause I know you been dying to see if I am a 60 year old fat man or not......I am:

Cause I Am A Stupid Idiot.....

Ok so I lost the login to my old Flickr account. Laugh as much as you want. So I had to create a new one, and re add all my pictures and what not. So new link to Flickr.....add me if you want:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/9811084@N08/

Edit: That account is now deleted cause I automatically got logged back in my old one.

The old one is : www.flickr.com/photos/farihab

Ready For School

The other day, I bought Aryan some red crocs. I know they are ugly and all but I think they look super cute on little kids and I am a huge Mickey Mouse fan so anything with Mickey, I get it. Oh and theres just no way I can rest if there is any money in my pocket until I spend it. So anyways I go and buy him the crocs and when I get home, he is fast asleep and my mom hates them. She said she willl not let him wear them. The next morning he wakes up and he sees them and he is in love with them. He havent taken them off since. Though my mom still refuses to let him wear them when he goes out....shes wacko.

Here are some pictures I took of the morning after I bought the crocs. He is wearing his all time favorite "engwind" shirt that Sarah got for him, with his backpack and new crocs, all ready for "school"......

Aryan and His New Ride

Havent played around with the camera for a few days now since I been sooooo busy trying to sort everything out for Tampa. Phone calls to make, emails to write, packages to send, and what not. Sooooo stressed!! My head hurts! Anyways to get a little break, I took Aryan for a walk outside and he got super exicted when I told him he can take out his Orange Power Ride thing. We got it for him last year for his birthday but it been tucked away for the winter and he was a bit too small for it so when he saw it few days ago, he thoughts we got him a brand new car! Took some pictures of him. For some of them, I forgot to set the speedlite in the right angle or something. They turned out alright I think.

Some other random pictures:

Time To Zigazig Ha Again!!!

YESSS!! The Girls are offically back! The World famous, Spice Girls announced yesterday plans for a 11 date World Tour, a greatest hits album and a 2 hour documentary! You only had to see the press conference to see they still have that magic, still have the same madness! I am so so so so exicted!! If you dont know, I am a huggeee Victoria Beckham fan and ah, one of the stops is in New York and I am so going there to finally see her! Yes she CAN sing, so shut up! So many of us waited for this for so long and all of you laughing, piss off cause you so know when they were big, you were singing Zigazighaing as well! And now they are back!! Better then before! All these years, and nothing have changed. It feels like 97 again! Ah so exicted! Jessica aka Mrs. Gentzal aka The Italian Girl who I thought was french and I been making plans non stop! After December 11th, 2007, New York City will never be the same again! Soooooooooo exicted!

Oh if you want to get tickets, register at www.thespicegirls.com The girls will randomly pick people who will be able to buy tickets so dont forget to sign up!!!

In other news, I adopted a monkey named "Cruzie" on facebook and if you are on my facebook, go pet him so I can get some "munny" to feed him. :-p Yes thats for you Jess!!!

My Big News....

No I am not getting married, no I am not having any kids.

Ok I know some of you been just dying to hear my big news, NOT, but here it goes................I am *drum roll please* moving to TAMPA!!!!

After god knows how much thinking, deciding and what not, I decided to go after my "dreams" and take the Journalism thing seriously. So I am going to IADT - International Academy Of Design & Technology. I would be there for 18 months doing a course on Photojournalism. After 9 months, I'll be going to London or Paris or Dubai or Milan. One of the four....ok doah! I'll be going to LONDON!!!!!!!!! It might not seem like a big deal but it actually is! I never been away from home before, I never had the confidence to do something that would keep me away from my comfort zone so I am very nervous and exicted at the same time. I got the call today confirming that I have been accepted. Ofcourse there is a teeny bit chance that I might not go if the Financial Aid thing doesnt work out. But at this point, since I actually got accepted which is a big shock in it itself since my High school grades were worse then worse and my college grades are not that great either, I think the Financial Aid would work out. Sorry Angie, I have not decided to become a man LMAO but I am going to London!!!!!

P.S: I did get your call and been trying to call you but you wont pick up :p

I found this

.........on another forum.

"There is sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are messengers of overwhelming grief, of deep contrition and of unspeakable love"

-Washington Irving

So many times, when we cry, people always say dont. You have to be strong. I think when we shed tears because of someone we lost, we are telling that person we still love them cause thats the only way we can show our love to them.

I think I am about to pop a brain vein....

OOMMMMGGG!! I got like a billion books, been reading all these guides, and what not, and I still for the life of me cant figure out the stupid manual mode. How do people do it? No seriously? How do they get such PERFECT pictures? Are they super smart or am I just super dumb? I think its the second one! Soooo frustrated. I am going to pop a brain vein soon and if anything happens to me, its the bloody camera's fault. I do love taking pictures with it, I do. (well after spending so much money, I better love it or my mom will cut me into a billion pieces). But why oh why cant I get perfect pictures? Oh why oh why oh why? Maybe I am not as creative as I thought. Yup thats it. I have no talent whatsoever and I should dig myself a huge hole and go live there. I am sure it would make many people happy getting away from my rants......


Here are some pictures I took on the manual mode and you photographers out there, I know the bloody exposure is all messed up and shutter speed is wrong and Idontknow what should be higher or lower, but blah. I give up for now.

And a picture of a BANANA LMAO. Well I can explain. Aryan a.k.a Satan Jr. got tired of posing for me and wanted to play tag so I started to bother the bananas.....

Somewhere Over The Rainbow....

Someone posted this link on Denden and I clicked on it. I am no fan of these competitions be it American Idol, Big Brother, America got talent, etc. but I clicked on this link anyways. Its from Britain Got Talent and I dont know why I am so emotional but it made me cry. Watch it here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=En0A8KGMgq8

I first heard the song when I saw Ava's slideshow. Yes I never watched The Wizard of Oz. Odd I know .

Tagging

Got another thing from Eman's blog LOL:

The Tagged Blog
Two names you go by:
1. Fariha
2. Fari


Two things you are wearing right now:
1. Blue scrubs
2. Gray top

Two things you would want (or have) in a relationship:
1. Trust/Honesty
2. Love

Two of your favorite things to do:
1. Photography
2. Read

Two things you want very badly at the moment:
1. Eat
2. Watch a movie

Two things you did last night:
1. Took pictures
2. Played with Aryan

Two people you last talked to:
1. My father
2. My mother

Two things you're doing tomorrow:
1. College Interview
2. Calling my doc to update (fun fun not)

Two longest car rides:
1. From Pakistan's Border to Aunt's house in Iran....You will die of boredom.
2. Florida

Two favorite holidays:
1. Eid in Pakistan :-(
2. *thinks* That's it.


Two favorite beverages:
1. My life line - Coke
2. Pakola

Four things About ME!Things you may not have known about me:
1. I am scared of needles and blood and darkness to the point that I can get a heartattack and die
2. I hate people :-p
3. I have serious trust issues
4. I have no clue what I want to do in life.

Four jobs I have had in my life:
1. Sheetz
2. Aryan's Slave umm babysitter
3. Volunteer at the Pediatric department at Wake Med
4. Helping Dad at work

Four Hollywood movies I would watch over and over again:
1. Can I turn it into bollywood movie ? I might as well......Any with Aishwarya (cheating?)
2. Kya Kehna
3. Kuch Kuch Hota Hai
4. Dil Chahta Hai

Four places I have lived:
1. Raleigh, NC
2. Balitmore, MD
3. Karachi, Pakistan
4. That's it.....
Four of my favorite foods:
1. Pakistani Street Food (The 10 rupees burgers yum yum)
2. Anything spicy and chatpatta
3. Shrimps!
4. Pasta

Four places I'd rather be right now:
1. ENGLAND!
2. Australia
3. Karachi *yes I am in desperate need of sleep*
4. LA!

Four people I tag:

Anyone who wants to do this.

Fari & Photography

Ok I been thinking about it for well over a year and after coming across Ava's mummy's blog, it just inspired me more and I finally went and got me a dSLR - A canon 30d. Oh I so love it. Mind you, I still suck and have no clue on how to work the manual part and been taking pictures only on the auto mode. But I do hope to learn as time goes by but me being a perfectionist, its really frustrating me that I cant bloody get it. I think it's about time I get some patience.

My main subject is Satan Jr. aka Aryan.......Heres him at the lake yesterday...I think if you click it, it will show a bigger size..not sure:

More pics at my Flickr: http://www.flickr.com/photos/8621263@N08/

Find Madeleine

How can some people be so cruel, I will never know. How can anyone have the heart to take a small child away from her parents? Nobody knows where little Madeleine is for the last three weeks, so please copy and paste this banner to all your blog or website. She could be anywhere. Let's all pray for her safe return.

Official websites: http://bringmadeleinehome.com/

Marriage.........

I was reading Eman's blog where she talked about Marriage and what she thinks of it. Inspired by her, I am going to post what I think about it.

I grew up in Karachi, Pakistan. Spent the first 11 years of my life there. I grew up in what's known as one of the ghettos of Karachi, Lyari. Attending a billion weddings and always imagined my own. That's what you do when you are a little girl in Lyari. You dont think about how when you grow up, you'll be a doctor or an actress or whatever, instead you think of who you going to marry (arranged ofcourse), how your wedding is going to be, how many kids you'll have, etc. etc. You might even think of a love marriage if you been watching too many Indian movies but at the end of the day, you will know things like love marriages dont happen in real life. In real life, your mom and dad would wait for a boy's family to come and ask for your hand in marriage.........your parents would look at how that family is related to yours and ta-da, thats it. Don't matter if the boy's a drugie or gay or don't have work. Someone came and asked for your hand in marriage and you should be grateful!

When I was in Lyari, quite often, me and my little friends would put our arms side by side and compare how light and dark our skin was. With that, we would determine how many proposels we are going to get. If you are fair skinned, then you will get the most and maybe some really nice ones.......if you are dark skinned, you will be lucky if you get one. Whoever was the darkest among us, we would laugh at her and tell her to get some "Fair n Lovely" cream and make herself "Fair". Because you see, it doesnt matter how messed up the guy is, but the girl always have to be fair, beautiful, must know how to cook and clean and must have the patience to be her mother in law's slave and what not.


When I was little, I thought I knew who I was going to marry. I been told many times, mostly as jokes, but when you are that little, you dont think its a joke and take it seriously. When I went to a wedding (most likely atleast 3 a week), I would imagine how my marriage would be like, how my future would be like, and how happy I'll be. In a sense I was (am?) lucky that I never had to be perfect so I can find a right husband. My mom or grandma or aunts didnt care if I didnt cover my head, or knew how to cook, or run around all day like a free bird, because that what I was, free. I had more freedom then any of my other friends living on our street. While they were learning how to cook at the age of 7, I was on a truck at the main street, throwing rocks at people who passed by, while they started to wear hijabs at 8, I wore skirts and dresses. I was different from them like night and day but yet when it came to marriage, we all had the same thoughts. Some of my friends are now married, some with kids. I know, they werent given a choice, they were just married off and expected to live happily ever after and I know some of them are not so happy. I also know I would never marry without a choice.

Somewhere down the line, the crazy yet sweet, clever yet naive, wild yet innocent, Fari got lost. I learned that what you see is not always the truth. I learned that there is no such thing as happily ever after and there are no such things as Prince Charming coming to get you on their horses or running around trees with you singing their hearts out. I also realized that I can never get married only because I can never trust someone to spend my whole life with. Esp. not someone who my parents picked. Luckily unlike my friends, I have a choice to say no. I am not sure if I can go and pick my own man, but even I were, I dont think I would. Again, I cant trust someone or anyone. Though I would love to have kids one day...adopt maybe?

Ok umm I just read that and it doesnt make sense. Umm here is what I think of marriage now:

Just because you wear a fancy dress and say "I do" dont make you husband and wife. You need to be one in heart and soul, emotionally, mentally and physically. You need to know and feel that that person is your soulmate. Your soulmate doesnt mean you need to get married to that person. If you feel in your heart that, he's the one, then thats it. There is no need to have witness. A "I do" is meaningless if deep down inside you really dont know if you agree with it or not. I have no problem with live-in relationships as long as its a mature and understanding relationship. I have no problem with people having kids before getting married. Again marriages are really not that important to me. Also what works for one might not work for another. I have no problem with people getting married out of their race or religion, infact I highly agree with those people. I think it makes you a better person when you get together with someone who is different from you, not only you learn about a different culture but about yourself and your culture as well.

Will I ever get married? I dont know maybe if I really find someone who I feel like I can trust, even a teeny bit............until then its a no.
]

Why?

Why is it that I cant stop thinking about Ava and her family? Why is it that everytime I see any little girl, I only think of Ava? I have never met her or her family. The only thing I know about her and her family are from her mum's blog and pictures. Why do I feel so sad and upset and cry when I read her mum's blog or see her pictures? Sometimes I feel like I have no right to feel so sad because I really didnt know her, yet I still do.

I love kids everyone knows that. Ofcourse hearing about any child dying is the worst thing in the world and it really makes me upset and I still havent gotten used to the fact that death doesnt look at age. It really is the most upsetting thing in the world. Doesnt matter if you knew the person or not, you do feel a sense of sadness in you but overtime you go on living your life like before. But Ava, its been three months, and I still think of her everyday. I still cant get over the fact that she's gone. I still think of how her family are doing? I am not the only one. If you go to her blog you will see all these people who never knew Ava or her family but they are so touched by her. Even though I am not a religious person at all and try to run away from anything religious, I do believe that Ava is a God sent Angel to touch so many people and make us realize how precious life really is. Is, because she still is and always will be.

Darling Super Princess, we will never stop thinking about you........

And America's Next Top Model Is............

FARI!!!!!!!!!

If you didnt believe me the 6730683486 times I already said my mom really has lost her mind, then this should prove it. So me and my dear mother were strolling away at the mall shopping for perfumes, she is obsessed with them, and we see a stage set up in the middle with all these blondies wearing slutry dresses and tiaras while their mothers happily looked at them, proud of the fact that their daughters are sluts. So my mom asks whats going on? Slutty dresses, tiaras, stage........."beauty pagent or a fashion show?"

"Why dont you join?" Ok mother just because I look like an aneroxic bitch dont make me the next Kate Moss. First of all, I dont do drugs or date ugly looking druggies. But ofcourse she doesnt get it and is like "I think you would win......." Bless her. Deep down, she does love me.....even if chases me around with one of Aryan's toys all day, she does love me. But ofcourse she goes on and on about how if I gain a bit of weight, lose the goldfish look, brush my hair, put some makeup on, get my teeth fixed, and maybe a nose and chin job, I might win. Umm Thanks Mom but I dont think so. But I finally say I might get to wear a bikini if thats alright with her........."Umm, well ok." I told you she's on crack.

The talks of me being the America's next top model continue all the way home. When we get home, I am like I dont mind meeting Tyra Banks and maybe I should join the next line of ANTM......she gives me one of her "go burn in hell" looks and is like "What makes you think I would let you become a model?" Umm right.

"Too bad, I already applied for ANTM and got accepted and will be on their next show. Must call and cancel".........Thats not funny she says and I should ask her before I do such things. Tell them due to my religion, I cant wear a bikini................Sure.

Anyways, talking about models and fashion and what not, I told a certain someone who I wish not to name that I want to go to Fashion Journalism. Ok fine I spent my high school life in track pants and a sweatshirt, never brushing my hair or could tell the difference between Vogue and Harper Bazaar, I think I can do a good job now. "You cant spell and you have very bad grammer".......Ouch!! This is the same person who I used to correct when it came to spelling back in Middle school. I would so say who this person is but I do infact like her and dont want her to hate me and also last time I said something, she threw a bunch of eggs at me and I am being fully serious. I was smelling like eggs for days except my hair was so shinny!!!

Talking about eggs, I am actually allergic to them. Or maybe somewhere down the line, I made that up. It was in 7th grade, we were in our math class. We couldnt speak proper english back in the day and were still in the ESL (English as a second language you losers) program so the teachers used to pity us and gave us an A even if we didnt do any work. So ya Math Class, me and Chiaki, the Japanese girl, would sit together cause we were the only ESL students and that year, she had 7 out of 8 classes with me. Oh wait, Lisandra was in the class too but she wont sit next to me cause I talked too much. It's after lunch and I really hate the teacher who have the worst hair I've even seen and I would make fun of it all day in the class. . Karma is such a bitch, years later I have even worst hair then her. So yes, we go to class, and Lisandra is not there. But Chiaki is. So 7 minutes later, my face starts itching really badly. I am convinced its the teacher who is doing black magic on me but Chiaki doesnt agree. I probably touched some plants, she says. Anyways, so I ask her if my face is red and shes like "yes it looks like a toyota".......Toyota? "yes Fari, the thing you put in the food......its the vegetable!".....Tomato? "Thats what I said." Ofcourse. So by this point we are loud and Mrs. Bad Hair comes over and talks like not only that we dont speak english, we are mentally retarded and deaf as well. "IS.....THEERE.....AAAA.....PROBLAAM?" Yes my face is itchy.....Chiaki says so is hers..........so Mrs. Evil Hair is like go to the bathroom. So we go there and well yes it looks like I have two tennis balls in my mouth and its all red. Stupid Chiaki rubs her face with a paper towel and her cheeks turn even more redder then mine...stupid pale people!! So we go back to class and tell her we are allergic to something (I wanted to say her but Chiaki stopped me). She asks whats wrong so I start to cry and say I am going to die. She gives me the "you are such a drama queen look" God why does everyone do that? Anyways we get excused and get home.

At home, my mom is trying to figure out whats wrong with me, knowing very well how hard I try in life to make sure there is something wrong with me and I die an early death. She says I can go to bed and stay there. Few hours later, Samia arrives.....this was before God felt sorry for how boring our lives were and sent Aisha from up above (NYC to be exact) to entertain us. She is like oh your face is red. Very smart Sami!! She was such a drama queen back then. One day I was telling her how a basketball star is coming to our school and she cried saying I am making fun of her mom and I spent like an hour telling her no I love her mom. I personally think she was PMSing but she didnt know it back then. So anyways after my mom gives me some medication my itching is gone and so is the redness. The next day she makes me eat some eggs and the itching starts all over again and she comes to the conclsion that I am allergic to eggs when in fact, I really didnt want to eat eggs and did the Chiaki trick afterwards and rubbed my face with paper towel. Years later, she still doesnt make me eat eggs....yaaay! But now I forgot if I really am allergic to eggs or did I make it up?

Movies & Samia and Aisha's Zits.......

Last saturday, I went to the movies with Aisha, Mariam, Mahdeem, Aisha's mom and baby sister to see Tara Rum Pum. Overall I was quite disapointed cause I loved Salaam Namaste (and no Samia not for the cheesy sex scenes).......this one was ok but not something I'll watch again and again. But you know, I'll even watch Faizan's gay porn if it means I get to hang out with the Queen herself, Missy Aisha! I am only joking about the porn Faizi, you know I wub ya.....

So my super smart mother who I love so very much (at times) came up with another one of her brilliant plans that make me scream "why oh why me?" This time she wants to take Satan Jr.....umm I mean Aryan, to go watch Spiderman 3 and she wants me to tag along....how about no? 1. I had enough of watching Spiderman 1 & 2 sixty three times a day and then having a 3 year old hit me, throw super heavy toys at me (what fucking genius thought 40 pounds toys are cute for little devils) , bite me, and jump on me because I am "green goblin" and 2. Wasnt it enough that she dragged me to see that annoying loser Elmo LIVE and made me try to track him down afterwards for a pic and having me getting yelled at by an unfriendly security guard who by the looks of it hated 2 year old Elmo fans as much as I do (that includes you too Samia and Marvi when you start singing Row Row Your Boat like him)? I dont really fancy getting beaten up by a three year old in a public place just because I dared to do the unthinkable when the ruler of the world is watching a movie and breath. Did I mention how I turned my back for one minute yesterday and he put a screen lock on my iPod and changed the language to Japanese? When I sweetly asked him (I really did) what the code was, he simply said "I dont like 3".....no kidding? I dont either!!! Afterwards a lot of chasing was involved with me getting hit by a hardcover book (thrown by Satan Jr.) which made my arm numb for 3 minutes and some blocks (throw by his mom) after I tried to kick him.....

OK back to my weekend. After the movie, poor sweet Aisha telling me how she feels bad that she has to go to work the next day cause my parents dont love me enough to come pick me up at 1 am so I am sleeping over and being a victim of Aisha's radioactive exposure, and all I can focus on is the big red zit on her forehead.....

"Why dont you tell Shamim you cant make it to work cause your zit exploded?" It takes Aisha like 7 minutes to figure out what I am saying while Mariam is laughing.....

"No man, I cant. She wont believe me...." You must be kidding!!! So we spend the night straightening my hair, me putting "very sexy" makeup on Aisha, watching Aisha's engagement video, talking and finally going to sleep..........the next day I wake up and Aisha is at work......poor thing. Shamim probably didnt think an exploded forehead is big enough of an excuse for Aisha to miss work while she worked on her botox again!

So later on, my mom finally decides that she doesnt like getting beaten up by Satan Jr. and I deserve it more and comes to pick me up............where do we go? To Samia's. NO seriously what is it that I cant just meet one of them per week or do anything that doesnt involve both of them....I mean Aisha and Samia. I have to meet them the same time, mention them the same time, go to their weddings at the same time, and I bet go to their death party (thrown by me) at the same time making my brain confused about whether to laugh or cry while remembering all the memories of us doing stupid things or saying stupid things cause we are so desperate.....well they both are, I am fine.

Anyways so I go to Samia's house and meet her mom in the kitchen who says "Your soulmate is upstairs" and for a minute I get super exicted thinking its Rahul but then I remember Samia bitch lives upstairs as well and Rahul is smart enough to know to not go near her.......So I go upstairs and shes on the computer ummmm "studying" and she turns around and what does she have? A huge black zit right on her forehead......the same place Missy Aisha has hers.....see what I said about them being sesame twins or whatever they are called? Ofcourse I cant stop staring at it and keep mentioning it in every sentence I speak and I can see that Samia is really getting annoyed and might throw the remote or Sanji on me.....but hey since when did I start caring that I am annoying or offending her? But thats why she cant get enough of me.....Back to the zits.....while Aisha's was bright red like she was ummm *tries to keep it non ks* eating strawberries and stained her head, Samia's looked like an over grown blackhead gone way too wrong......

Ok I should stop. Its not like I am zit free.......we all know about my Guribabe one!!!! *watches Faizan dig out a picture* Dont even think about it mate! I had a huge ass blackhead (smaller then Sami's zit) on in the middle of my shouder blades for like two years which Marvi always managed to laugh at and I had no idea what it was. One sunny day, the blackhead doctor, Missy Aisha comes over and is like "OMG you have a black head" while pointing to the back of my head..."Yaaay Aisha you finally figured out that my hair color is black!!".....ofcourse not getting me shes like LET ME PULL IT OUT! Umm.....no! "It wont hurt....a lot".......ok yes I hate my hair but I dont want someone pulling it out...........but at the end she defeated me which is not that hard.....size wize dekha hai? Not only hers, mine too........and pulls it out and I realized this time I was the stupid one......

I am joking.....Aisha is more smart then Samia will ever wish to be....I mean I'll ever wish to be.

Ava's Rule

Spread the Word: www.avasrule.com :)

Yet Another Try......

....This is in all seriousness, my 637063046th blog. I hope I can keep up with this one.......I hope! Anyhows, I start this, after visiting these two blogs by these two very special and wonderful women and being inspired by them. The first one belongs to Sheye Rosemeyer (http://sheyerosemeyer.blogspot.com) who is probably one of the most amazing woman and photographer I know (well sort of, you know what I mean) and mother of Angel Princess, Ava (http://avarosemeyer.memory-of.com). The other woman is a friend of Sheye, Carrie Young (www.carrieyoung.typepad.com) , who again is an amazing woman and a great photographer. Her pictures just put a smile on my face everytime.

If you dont know me, I am Fari. I am 20 years old and I live in North Carolina with my parents and two younger brothers. I love England, Fashion, Photography (have no talent whatsoever), shopping, and all the other things that really dont matter. I am very random and love to rant...most of my rants dont really make sense but thats just me.