.............Is it possible to lose something you never had in the first place? I am having a very bad week. I heard some very bad things about the school I am going and that totally shattered me cause I was looking soooooooooo forward to it. I finally thought I was one step closer to my dreams after all these years. I been down because of that. With help of some friends, I am looking at other schools but I am not getting as exicted as I should be.
Also, anyone who knows me knows how much I always wanted a sister in my life. I yearned for one all my life. You know to have someone to tell your secrets to, share your problems with, share clothes, wake up 4 am to talk about the most stupidest thing, fight over the smallest thing and then make up the next minute, someone who is always there for you at all times. A cousin of mine, who is 4 years older, has always been that person for me. We grew up together and we shared our secrets and fought with eachother like nobody's business. After saying goodbye to her in 2001 after my trip back home, I missed her so much. For 4 years, I wish I can go back home and see her. When we finally did meet, she was another person. She would scream at me for no reason, embarrass me in front of her friends and family and it hurt so bad. But I guess people change and so did she. Ofcousre I tried to forget about it and act like nothing have changed. I was talking to her online yesterday and for a moment it felt like nothing have changed and I told her about my school thing and for no reason at all, she started to be bitchy again. Like wtf? Maybe it's a good thing I dont have a sister.